


The Dark

by atiisawriter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Disabled Character, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Getting Together, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Libraries, M/M, More tags will be added later, Trash dads, a lot of firsts tbh, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-10-06 03:34:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10324703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atiisawriter/pseuds/atiisawriter
Summary: Castiel Novak, a man who's terrified of the dark, meets Dean Winchester, a man who's constantly living in it.





	1. Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> My merit is not to offend disabled people so if I get anything wrong, please correct me.
> 
> English is not my native language, I apologize for any grammatical errors in advance.

Castiel was, in all the honesty one can find in their heart, not the type to stare at someone or check them out too obviously. But sometimes, he sees some exceptions, he sees some people that are way too gorgeous to not stare at.

For example, the man that Castiel had been seeing a lot in the library recently. The man was certainly new to town, but he, with no doubt, had already found his favorite spot in all of the immense town: the far end of the library, next to the window. Castiel respected that greatly and also thanked God for making the stranger sit in that exact place.

In sunny days, the big floor to ceiling windows would allow the golden rays of sunlight to penetrate the room, and since the man would always sit next to one of these windows, the sun would illuminate his face more than anything else in the room. Maybe Castiel was just hallucinating, but it made the man glow like a jewelry when it's exposed to the sun, his eyes would get this intense and bright shade of green; his hair would change to the color of honey, yellow and light brown, and his skin starts to sparkle as though it was bathed in mercury.

On the other hand, in cloudy days, when the sun is hidden behind grey clouds, everything in the huge room turns from nice and good to boring and dull, the yellow light coming from the multiple lamps scattered around the room made it uglier and darker. Yet somehow , the stranger managed to look like a work of art, like a sculpture that was handmade by Michaelangelo himself or a peculiar yet a breathtaking portrait carefully painted by the great Louis David. His skin would get paler, and eyes would now change into a dark and deep green that was hardly noticeable, from a distance it'd look just like brown, his hair would lose its honey color and become a mixture of black and dark brown.

In contrast to sunny days where the man looked like a beautiful and a happy song made by a whole group of orchestra, in rainy days, he looked like a mournful melody made by one piano man. Castiel found himself mesmerized by the stranger's beauty more than any book or tale he had ever read, and sometimes, out of sheer childlessness that he occasionally allowed to take over him, he wondered if this is how princes charming looked like in those bedtime stories his uncle read to him when he was a child. If that's somehow true, then the princesses had every right to be smitten over them. In fact, Castiel was too infatuated, too intrigued already, he wanted to speed walk towards the man's table, sit next to him and just stare at him from a close distance for 5 hours every day. Creepy, but Castiel don't mind being creepy over just one person every once in a goddamn while.

Though, Castiel had never seen the man reading a book, it was odd to say the least; coming to a place made for books but not read a book. Castiel didn't think much about the issue, he was usually daydreaming about how it would feel to touch that honey like hair or how it would be the man's reaction if he ever caught him staring. Castiel presumed that the man only accompanied someone to the library and was always waiting for them to come back, and Castiel never stuck around to see who it may be. Perhaps he was not ready yet to see a beautiful woman running toward the man and then kissing and clinging to him annoyingly.

Hours of just staring turned into days, days became weeks and weeks prolonged to months. Castiel got tired of just making sex eyes at the stranger. If he's going to ever talk to anyone and put his useless insecurities aside, this is the perfect time, the perfect time to not be a coward.

One day, he decided, determination was filling him up from head to toe, to finally talk to the man that has been distracting him from doing anything. He just wanted to know the name of the stranger, he wanted to put a name to that face.

Castiel entered the library, his eyes immediately falling onto the infamous man, he had his arms folded on top of the table and his head were buried in them. Was he taking a nap? Was he tired? Should Castiel be disturbing him now of all days? It could wait, tomorrow could be better. No, no. For all the things Castiel knows, tomorrow a meteor may come crashing into earth, erasing humanity from the existence, and then the skies and the stars would stare down at earth with pity because there was a human that lived upon it who was a little coward, was scared out of  his wits to talk to a man and died mourning over it.

Castiel gathered all the courage he found within him and walked to the table in front of him. As soon as he slipped into the chair facing the man, the latter head shot up, his eyes half closed and mouth slightly agape. It somehow was a cute sight.

"Sam! You're done early today! My butt hurts from sitting too long." The man said, his tone hopeful.

"It's not Sam." Castiel said shortly, not sure of how to start this fateful conversation.

At that unexpected answer, in opposition to his mouth that was now closed into a straight line, his eyes were wide open, and for Pete's sake, why did the sun decide to rise high in the sky now, making the man look as ethereal as ever. Oh wait, now that they're close, Castiel saw freckles swimming in the other's rosy cheeks. Castiel gulped visibly. This is not going to be a nice experience at all, and right about now the skies and stars must be laughing in glee as though his life was a ludicrous theater play. It was.

"Who are you?" The man asked, staring widely at Castiel. Actually, not exactly at Castiel but somewhere between his shoulder and neck, but he wasn't paying attention to such trivial details.

"I'm Castiel." He said, surprisingly calm, he reached his right hand to the man to shake, but it was left there hanging awkwardly, Castiel clenched it into a fist and hugged it back to himself. There was an awkward pause between them where neither of them attempted to talk, and Castiel began to suspect that he may or may not be happy if that goddamn meteor came now falling onto his head, saving him from this helpless situation. This man, for all Castiel knows, could be a dick with zero personality.

"For your information-" the man began his sentence and Castiel held his breath waiting for some sort of polite alternative to fuck off. "-if you -I'm just assuming cause it happens a lot- just gave me your hand to shake and I didn't and now you're contemplating whether you should kill me or murder me for making it awkward. I did not see it, since you know, I'm blind."

Castiel was not expecting this.

"I'm Dean, by the way." Dean said, his lips twitching into a small smile.

Castiel was shocked by how of an asshole he was to prejudge someone that fast, not by the fact that the man was blind, that, in fact, did not make him any less attractive.

"Oh." Castiel said, a breathless laugh escaped his lips. "Actually, I was hoping a meteor would just crash into earth to save me."

"Well, isn't that a nice and a creative, but most importantly a painless way to die?" Dean said playfully. Castiel felt himself relax at the nice attitude he was receiving. And now that he knows the information, he noticed that Dean was not looking at Castiel's face all this time, he was shifting from his shoulder to his chest.

"About that, I have a whole list of nice ways to die, I could let you see it, if you want." Castiel said nonchalantly. Dean knotted his eyebrows.

"I couldn't see it even if I wanted to." Dean said solemnly. Castiel fought the urge to punch his own face.

"Oh my god, sorry, I ju-"

"Geez, I'm obviously joking, ease up man. I'm pretty chill, I don't get offended easily, unless you do or say something very bad, then I will not hesitate to punch you in the throat." Dean said, glaring at nothing in particular, his hand raised in a fist. The gesture was everything but threatening, quite the opposite, it was so endearing, Castiel's face was sporting a ridiculous smile.

"Why do you come here if you don't like the place?" Castiel tried to strike a conversation.

"Uhm...uhh, it's not that I don't like the place..." Dean trailed off, Castiel assumed it was a touchy subject.

"You can tell me, I'm just a stranger anyway, we probably won't talk ever again." Castiel did not mean what he said at all, hell if he isn't going to sit in this chair every day, now that he talked to Dean, he's never going to stop.

Dean sighed, visibly thinking if he should say what he had to say or not. At last , he decided: fuck it, who really cares if he spilled it out?

"Well, I don't hate libraries, they're just nostalgic to me. Before you know, loosing my sight, I was a bookworm as one might call it. I would read every book in the local libraries, from biology and physics to how to cook lasagna. After things happened, I stopped reading for quite some time, and even after I got used to the Braille, it was not the same as seeing the words with your eyes, scanning the information and absorbing it into your brain. I miss reading so much, and being in a library that's full of books, books ready to be read, yet I can't read any of them is..." Dean trailed off again, not sure what label he should put on his feelings. "I come here because it's relaxing..."

Dean was now looking at his lap, fumbling with his fingers, his breathing was disoriented, and his tone was full of sadness, Castiel's heart clenched in his rib cage. Why do the good people have to suffer?

"I'm-"

"Save it." Dean interrupted him. "I've heard enough half assed  _I'm sorry's_ throughout my whole life, I don't need a stranger's pity."

"I wasn't going to say I'm sorry." Castiel said, his tone was solemn and serious. "I was going to say, I'm proud of you and that you are one of the strongest, if not the strongest person I've ever met. I envy your bravery."

Dean looked up at Castiel, their gaze met for the first time. His eyes were glassy and as wide as ever. Castiel knew that Dean was fighting tears. It was easy to read the man's emotions. It's almost unfair how Dean is unable to see the true world surround him through his eyes, but the world was able to see the true him just through his eyes.

Dean shifted his eyes to his lap again and whispered an almost inaudible _Why would you say that_. He did not mean it as _Give me an explanation to why you think I'm strong._ But it was a more of _No one had ever said this to me, I don't know how to react to this._

"When I was twelve-" Castiel decided if Dean gave him a piece of him, he should give something back. "-I had eye surgery and I had to do it immediately. When I woke up after the surgery, there was a bandage around my head, covering my eyes. I had a seizure, I thought I was blind. It took three nurses to get me under control. When I woke up the second time, there was a doctor next me, he explained that I was not blind and that I had to put on the bandage until my eyes heal. I was practically blind for a month, I did not differentiate between day and night, I just sat there in silence looking at the dark. Being a child didn't help the situation, all of my childish fears became reality, I hallucinated that there were monsters in the room that tried to kill me in my sleep, I could've sworn that I physically felt them. I cried and cried but no one really cared. And that experience resulted an adult that's terrified of the dark." Castiel finished with a deep sigh.

Dean was no longer looking at his lap, and now was staring at what he thought was Castiel, his face closer to him, as though to hear the story more clearly.

"I..I...you said I was strong? No. You are strong." Dean was stunned, how dare Castiel envy his bravery when he was the braver.

After a silence, that was not awkward, in fact a needed silence, they both had to collect themselves back to normal.

Dean broke the silence with a small breathy laugh.

"What?" Castiel asked.

"It's just, I just met you like what? Half an hour ago, and I feel connected to you more than anyone I've known for years." Dean said, a small smile playing on his lips.

"It takes one to know one." Castiel said and Dean nodded in agreement.

"Holy shit! Did I go blind or did Dean Winchester just made a friend?"

Suddenly, a tall man materialized in front of Dean and Castiel. The man was tall and built, green eyes and long hair. He was handsome.

"Shut up asshole. Sam, this is Castiel, Castiel this is Sam, my brother."

"Hello." Sam said warmly and shook Castiel's hand.

"Dean we have to go." Sam urged his brother, who slipped out of his chair easily, and Castiel assumed that it took so much practice to just do that simple act. Dean reached under the table and picked up his stick and unfolded it.

"It was nice meeting you Castiel." Dean said, looking at Castiel's general direction.

"The feeling is mutual. And by the way, I lied when I said that we won't be talking after today. Keep this chair clear for me because you won't be sitting here alone from now on."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you aren't from twitter then please follow me: (@etherealmish) and let's be frens!


	2. Dating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel being cute.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me ten years to finally update this. I promise I will update more regularly.

Castiel's face was hurting from smiling too much. As soon as he got in the library, he saw Dean's sitting in his usual place, gazing at the window, the sun shining upon his features, making him more beautiful than anything Castiel had ever seen. Castiel could not help but feel happiness buzzing in his system as he slipped into the chair. Dean's face broke into a huge smile, mirroring Castiel's.

Today was the fourth day they meet. The second time they spoke, or so Castiel tried to strike a conversation, Dean shook him off, saying that he was not in the mood to talk. Castiel was worried, of course, but he didn't want to make the other man uncomfortable by asking what's wrong, and he didn't want to push his luck anymore, just the fact that Dean allowed him to be here is more than he could've asked for. 

After a while of silence, it got a bit boring, so Castiel offered to read a book for Dean, but the latter refused, admitting that he dislikes that, but when Castiel insisted, Dean left him be. From that day onward, Dean somehow changed his mind because he was the one who'd ask Castiel what are they going to read today. Castiel assumed that Dean found his voice soothing.

"Good afternoon, Castiel. You're as late as usual." Dean greeted.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel paused, hesitating for a second before he added. "You look as beautiful as usual."

Dean blushed at that and murmured a quiet _stop._ It never ceased to amuse Castiel how self conscious Dean becomes when someone gives him compliments, he probably was not used to them. Castiel wished to change that.

"What are we going to read today?" Dean asked, putting his jaw on his hands that were supported by his elbows on the table.

"The River." Castiel answered, opening his backpack.

"Aww, aren't we going to continue last time's book?" Dean was pouting, Castiel fought the urge to kiss it away.

"No, I didn't like it. I've read this one before, and it was good, I'm pretty sure you'll like it too." Castiel informed, now opening the book to the first chapter.

"Okay." Dean said, trusting Castiel's choice. He folded his arms on top of the table and put his head on them.

Castiel started reading, using punctuation correctly and pronouncing the words as well as he can. Castiel was fortunate because the library was almost empty, only two people were sitting far away from them. And the library was not as strict as one must be, they allowed people to talk as long as it didn't disturb anyone.

Castiel began reading, and soon enough he was into the story just like the first time he had read it. He almost could not hear himself reading it out loud. When he was halfway through the first chapter, Dean abruptly interrupted him. Castiel placed the book on the table, looking at Dean, who had his chin on the back of his hands, his eyes on Castiel's chest.

"You don't like the book?" Castiel answered, Dean shook his head.

"I just have a question that has been bothering me. Why did you talk to me in the first place?" Dean asked, his voice lower than normal.

Castiel was not sure if he should be honest with his answer, it'd be embarrassing but it's better than lying anyway.

"This is going to be embarrassing." Castiel began, looking outside the window. The sun was nowhere to be seen, it looked like it's about to rain. "I've been kinda just watching you for the past month, you looked...I don't know, different?"

Castiel cursed the hesitation that was clear in his tone. Why couldn't he just say it, like the proper adult he was?

"Just be honest." Dean urged.

"Alright, alright." Castiel mirrored Dean's position, his face was now close to Dean, and once again he was reminded of how beautiful the man was.

"I love art, I'm an art student. I've seen and heard so much art in my lifetime, from paintings and sculptures to musicals and theater plays, and every time I looked at you, I was reminded of them." Castiel said quietly, it was almost a whisper.

Dean was silent for more than Castiel was expecting, his eyes were staring behind Castiel's shoulder, he was frozen, Castiel doubted he was even breathing. When Castiel wanted to say something, Dean shifted his head so now his forehead was laying on the back of his hand and his face was completely concealed.

"I don't know how to answer that." Dean said, voice barely audible.

"You don't have to." Castiel answered just as inaudible.

They sat in silence for a while, neither of them had courage to say anything. On one hand, Castiel was so embarrassed that he just said something so sappy, and on the other hand, Dean was trying to stop the tears. No one had ever said things like that to him, it was so unusual, so weird to be treated like that by a stranger, by someone he met a week ago, and talked to four times. Dean was unsure of what Castiel found beautiful in him, Dean remembers himself as an okay teenager, and he doubted that puberty would've done anything to change that. How Castiel describes him made Dean get a different image of himself, an imagine so different from the one his father, brother, previous girlfriends gave to him.

Suddenly, Dean was sitting, his back straight and eyebrows furrowed in determination. Castiel, startled, straightened in his seat too.

"I want to know how you look like." Dean informed.

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked, confused.

"I mean, I want to feel your face, like that, I can form an approximate image on how you look like." Dean said.

"Okay." Castiel said, his lips in a straight line. He pushed his chair closer to the table, and leaned in toward Dean.

Dean reached out to Castiel's face, his hands placed on his cheeks first. Castiel observed Dean's face, as his facial expressions changed from a frown to a smile. Dean explored his face freely, his soft fingers light on Castiel's skin as he felt his forehead, eyes, the shape of his nose, cheek bones and jaw. Castiel found himself unconsciously leaning into the feather like touch, closing his eyes when Dean massaged his ears, and then ran his fingers through Castiel's hair, tugging at it lightly. Then, lastly, Dean hesitantly traced Castiel's lips with his thumb. Castiel breath hitched a bit, and he felt that Dean's had done the same. He wanted to kiss the gorgeous man in front of him so badly.

Castiel took Dean's hand off of his face, and held them close to his chest.

"I...I-" Dean squeezed their hands together in encouragement. "Will you go on a date with me?" Castiel finally asked.

"How can I say no?" Dean answered in a heart beat, the smile on his face melted Castiel's heart. He was glad he had been the reason for it.

"Let's go on a date today." Castiel suggested, his confidence was restored now that he knows that Dean was at least interested in him.

"What? But Sam is going to-"

"What about me?" Sam came out of nowhere. It always startled Dean how his brothers managed to sneak in like that.

"I want to take Dean on a date?"  It was supposed to be a statement but it came out as a question. Castiel knew that the brothers were close so having Sam's approval seemed important.

Sam looked back and forth between Dean and Castiel, confusion painting his expression, then suddenly an expression of understanding took its place.

"Wait..you're trying to say that you weren't dating all this time?" He asked, then shook his head. "You don't have to ask for my approval, I'm not his mom."

"Oh, but you sure act like one." Dean said bitterly.

"Maybe if you didn't act like a child, I wouldn't have to treat you like one." Sam shot back. Castiel didn't know how to react to the scene gradually unfolding in front of him. Were they arguing for real or just joking?

"Perhaps if your old man acted like a real father, I wouldn't have lost my eyesight, and wouldn't have been a bother to you." Dean said, his tone inappropriately calm.

"Well, that was uncalled for." Sam was unfazed by his brother's outburst, and Castiel assumed that this type of argument happened quite often between the two. "Anyway, Castiel, you're free to do whatever you want, just make sure to drive him home." He said, flashing a brief smile toward Castiel, and then walked out the door.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that." Dean said.

"Let's go." Castiel decided to just forget about it.

  


  


* * *

  
  
  


The park was quiet, a couple of kids were playing with their bicycles at the other end. The sun was sitting down the horizon, making the sky take the most beautiful colors Castiel had ever seen.

"I bet the sky looks beautiful." Dean said when he finished his ice cream.

"Want me to describe it to you?" Castiel offered, and Dean made a humming noise.

"Alright. So above our heads and a bit further the sky is almost completely honey-like orange, leaning to brown-" Castiel glanced quickly at Dean that had his eyes closed but his head was pointed to the sky, as though he was imagining what is Castiel describing. "There's yellow strings stretched from one horizon to the other. But as you look farther, the sky changes colors, it becomes golden orange and pale blue. Framed by clouds, the sun is in the middle, shining so brightly."

"Which reminds me of your freckles, they are like little suns." Castiel added. Dean blushed and dipped his head down. "I really want to kiss them."

Dean turned his head to Castiel, his eyes still closed, and without talking both of them knew what's going to happen. They leaned toward each other, Castiel's hand placed ever so lightly on Dean's cheek, his fingers behind his ear. Castiel leaned in, carefully kissing Dean's freckles, and he could swear that they tasted sweet. He then gave each side of Dean's face a small inaudible kiss, and rested his forehead agaisnt Dean's. His heart was beating fast threatening to fall of its cage, his breath was ragged, and he couldn't put a label on the feeling bubbling in his chest.

Dean state was no different, he was melting on the gentleness he was receiving, and for once he felt like there's someone who actually cared because they like him, not because of pity. He never felt so peaceful.

The quiet sunset continued its process, as both of them sat in silence, enjoying nothing but their mingled breath, and the rhythm of their heartbeat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this rushed chapter, I just wanted to update this again. 
> 
> If you're not from twitter, please follow me there: (@etherealmish) and let's be besties!


End file.
